Three Commands to The Family

Colossians 3:18-20
18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
The opening scripture reveals three different commands given by St. Paul to the father, the mother and the children in a family. Let's look at these three commands.

1. 'Love' for husbands

The husband is exempt from the command of 'SUBMIT' given to the wife in Colossians 3:18. In the sense, the husband needs not be submissive to the wife, but always bears her in love. The command of 'LOVE' given to the husband is very unique in the context of the family. This command implies not only talking to the wife with sweet words all the time, but many other actions. Among these actions, remaining faithful to the wife is of paramount importance.
             
The husband should lead a transparent life when it comes to FAITHFULNESS. He should not have any kind of relationship with anybody, which cannot be taken before the wife openly. Even a joke that the husband would crack before someone would matter in this faithfulness. That is, if the husband cannot crack the same joke in the presence of the wife, which he does in her absence, this shows the lack of transparency in the life of the husband.  Sometimes, in the long run, even such jokes can damage the FAITHFULNESS of the husband to his wife.

2. 'Submit' for wives

Wives are supposed to submit to their husbands for all matters. But this does not mean that wives are supposed to say 'YES' to everything the husband is doing. When the wife cannot agree with the husband on any matter, the wife has all the right to say that she is not in agreement with it. In this process, the wife can justify herself why she is against it in accordance with the Word of God.

Besides, if the husband is not willing to respond favourably based on whatever reasons he himself has, even at this juncture, the wife should remain submissive to the husband.

Nevertheless, she can take the matter to the Lord in prayer and rely on God for the justice provided she is certain that the husband is wrong before God concerning the relevant matter. Then the Lord, being the One who can change the minds of people, would cause the husband to change his mind in agreement with the wife. In this exercise, the wife would be tested to exercise great patience before the Lord, until the Lord answers to her prayer.

It is very important that the wife should avoid seeking the counsel of the next-door lady by revealing all shortcomings of the  husband to her after having committed the matter to the Lord. This is one of the main reasons for modern wives not to receive any response from God even if they commit their reasonable matters to God concerning their husbands. 
 
IMPORTANT FOR THE WIFE

Although the wife is having a separate command called 'SUBMIT', she is not exempt from the command of 'LOVE' given to the husband. In other words the wife should meet all the requirements of the command of 'LOVE' given to the husband while keeping the command of 'SUBMIT'.
        
3. Obey

The children are supposed to obey all the commandments  and instructions of the parents. By  doing so, they show due respect to their parents. The Bible is very clear about the requirement for the children to respect their parents, being the fifth commandment of the ten commandments, which is accompanied with a promise.

Exodus 20:12
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

What if the parents give wrong commandments and wrong instructions to their children?

Children are not expected to bring matters before God against their parents (as the wife could do under the command of 'SUBMIT') concerning wrong commandments and instructions that they receive from their parents as they are not matured to do so.

The children are supposed to obey all the instructions and commandments whatsoever they receive from their parents. As such, they play a very passive role in the family. Nevertheless if a child becomes smart enough to bring a matter before God concerning a wrong commandment or instruction received from the parents, we cannot say that God would not answer to their prayer.

Hence, it is the sole responsibility of the parents to give the right commandments and instructions to their children before God as the children are supposed to obey their parents in every respect.